To watch porn or not to watch porn…there’s no right or wrong answer.

remote control-freephoto credit: SkyFire XII

Watching porn before, during, or after sex is becoming more and more common.

If porn is being used in a way to increase the connection between you and your partner, such as for foreplay or arousal, then this can be beneficial for your sexual relationship.

Some of my patients, however, have shared with me that the use of porn seems to be  potentially destructive to their relationships.  In general, if your partner is focused on the porn (video, TV, computer screen, magazine) to the extent that he is not really “being” with you, then this can be destructive.   He is merely “getting off”, so to speak.

If this is this case, I recommend that you discuss this tender topic with your partner during a time far separated from any inkling of sex.   This way, you can have his full attention without distraction and be able to express how you feel.

When you communicate how his porn preference is negatively affecting sexual intimacy with him, and ultimately your relationship, he will begin to listen and stop this habit.

Please share your comments and experiences!

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